10 Secrets To Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy, right? Happiness, unless you are one of these lucky folk who by mere nature always just see the bright side of things, is in actual fact something you create. Although a new house, new car, new job etc may well increase our feelings of happiness, they will give you no more than a temporary happiness boost. True and sustainable happiness comes from our relationships. Unless we succeed in our relationships with the people we love, all other achievements - no matter how great or how cherished - soon lose their appeal and, in fact, often become totally meaningless. Once I had this realisation I also became aware that no matter what other goals we may have, we must NEVER lose sight of the most important one of all - to do all it takes to make our significant relationships as wonderful, satisfying and as healthy as we possibly can.

If you feel that your important relationships could do with a 'tune-up', please read on....

10 STEPS TO CREATING THE RELATIONSHIPS YOU WANT

1. Identify where you are at with your most important relationships. On a scale from 1 – 10 where would you consider your level of success to be in the relationship…with your life partner?...your children?...your parents?...and any other people who really matter to you????

2. Decide - Where would you prefer it to be on that continuum?

3. Ask yourself: Which changes can I make to move closer towards that goal?

4. Write down your ideas and then decide which of those changes will make the greatest difference . This could be a change in attitude, expectations or perhaps a change in the way you communicate. It could be that you need to spend more time with your loved ones, that you need to hold back on judgments, become more encouraging or express your love more often. It could be any one of a thousand things. Just decide on the ones that are meaningful to you.

5. Determine to pursue making those changes change that will create the greatest difference.

6. Be realistic - Making changes is tough and you will, on occasion, find yourself falling back into your old ways of relating .

7. Be prepared - When you fall back, pick yourself up, brush yourself off and recommence the process with renewed determination and energy.

8. Remember, especially when you feel discouraged, each tiny step in the right direction will eventually get you where you want to be.

9. Commit to doing all it takes.

10. Honour each milestone and celebrate each success.

5 GIFTS TO GIVE TO THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

Listen – Be quiet whilst the other person is speaking. Hear them without interrupting, judging, airing or defending your opinion, without allowing your mind to drift or thinking of the response you might make. Listen with your ears, your mind and your heart and the one you are listening to will feel like you’ve just given them a most wonderful gift.

Embrace their differences – Instead of being threatened, frustrated or irritated by the other person's differences, enquire about them with a sense of curiosity and a willingness to step outside the box you live in . Give yourself permission to broaden your horizon and learn what makes the other person ‘tick’. Remember these words of wisdom: "Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common. Celebrate it every day."

Show affection - Kiss, touch, hug, smile! Use body language to let the other person know that you truly care for them. It is said that people will forget what you said, that they will forget what you did but they will never forget how you made them feel. Sometimes, a smile can say more than 1000 words. Let your body talk!

Express appreciation - How often do we take the time and make the effort to pay attention to the things that are right, good and positive in our lives and to let people know how much we appreciate them. How often do we remember to thank those around us for all the little things they do for us ? Determine to say ‘thank you’ more often. Tell the important people in your life how much they mean to you. Say "I love you" to one (or all) of them at least once daily.

It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences. (Audre Lorde)

A man may fail many times but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. (J. Paul Getty)

The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it. (Frank M. Garafola)

And though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains but have not love, I am nothing (Bible, Cor.13:2)