How Do YOU Deal With Conflict In Your Relationship?

Whether we like it or not, conflict is very much part of life. It can occur with your partner, your child/ren, your parents, your boss, your employees, your friends, your relatives or any other person with whom you come in contact. Often, it is not the fact that conflict occurs that is the problem, but how you deal with it.

To most people conflict is something from which they shy away. They may be so afraid of conflict that they would do just about anything in order to avoid it. Alternatively, their discomfort might express itself in aggressive behaviour or language .

Ask yourself: “How do I behave when conflict arises in my life? Do I…..”

* Pretend that everything is alright even when it isn’t?
* Withdraw from the person who raised a conflict issue?
* Withdraw from conflict situations?
* Give in or do whatever you can to ‘fix’ the problem, even if you don’t consider it your problem?
* Give another the ‘cold shoulder’ or the ‘silent treatment’?
* Get angry, blame, shame, criticise or use sarcasm?
* Scream, yell and/or become physically violent?

If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, you would benefit from learning more about effective conflict management and resolution. Learning to effectively deal with conflict is an invaluable life skill.

Here are a few tips:

• Don’t deal with the issue causing conflict in the heat of the moment. Nobody is objective at that time.
• Deal with the issue at hand. Dredging up everything that has annoyed you about the other person or the current conflict situation during the past five years is not helpful.
• Focus on the conflict issue or behavior instead of attacking the other person’s character or motive.
• Don’t threaten or manipulate, and don’t call the other person names.
• Give the other person an opportunity to say what they wish to say. Listen carefully and seek to understand what they are saying from their point of view.
• Don’t push the other person into a corner, allow them to “save face”.
• Don’t be afraid of discovering that you are wrong. If you are, say ‘sorry’!
• The issue causing conflict may not be a matter of right or wrong – you may need to ‘agree to disagree’.
• Sometimes ‘meeting halfway’ may be a necessary compromise to achieving resolution of your conflict.